


Autobot for a Night

by Starros



Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:16:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28883769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starros/pseuds/Starros
Summary: Earlier that evening, as he'd packed his datapads and other personal belongings into his subspace before leaving the sunken starship he called home for the last time, his servos wouldn't stop shaking. He was starting a new chapter in his life and it was both wonderful andterrifying...Starscream is close to leaving the Decepticons for good, but his own self-doubt gets in the way.
Relationships: Optimus Prime/Starscream
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	Autobot for a Night

"I want to join you!" 

The words flew out of Starscream's mouth before he could stop himself. Frag. Definitely not how this was supposed to go. 

He'd daydreamed about this exact moment hundreds of times, replaying the perfect scenario over and over in his processor and crafting an elaborate scene like it was the climax of an old epic romance film from the Golden Age on Cybertron. One that took place under the orange glow of sunset where he would run into Optimus's arms after declaring that he was finally leaving the Decepticons behind forever. They would kiss furiously, united at last. No more goodbyes. No more clandestine meetings. Imaginary music would swell in the background...

Instead, Starscream slowly sank deeper into the cold water he was wading into until only his helm was visible, heat rising to his cheeks as he eyed the Autobot leader sitting on the bank. 

Optimus glanced up from his datapad, confused. "Well...sure," he said, patting the rocky ground next to him. 

Letting out a snort of laughter, Starscream shrugged off his momentary embarrassment and swam back to his sparkmate, collapsing next to him in a wet heap. He exvented deeply, staring out over the lake, the tension slowly draining from his chassis as he watched the water ripple and sparkle in the dying sunlight. A cool breeze blew through the pine trees. Insects hummed in the underbrush. 

"What are you reading?" Starscream asked casually, scooping up a servoful of pebbles and letting them slip through his fingers.

"Oh, just Perceptor's reports on the geology of Mount St. Hilary.”

"Sounds exciting." Starscream leaned back on the ground and crossed his arms behind his helm. He shuttered his optics, listening to the soothing sound of the water washing over the moss-covered rocks near his pedes. 

It was time to gather his thoughts and try again.

He'd made up his mind about leaving the cons cycles ago and had been so eager to tell Optimus that he'd lost hours of sleep every night. The Autobot leader had begged Starscream to come with him time and time again, but no matter how passionately he argued that Starscream would be welcomed into the family and treated right, Starscream always shut down, saying he couldn't. That it was too complicated. There was no way he could walk away so easily. He was still a Decepticon to his very core, a Decepticon with a cause to fight for. Abandoning everything, even for Optimus, was out of the question. After a while, Optimus had stopped bringing it up entirely. 

But, over time his feelings changed until the need to be with Optimus...truly be with him day and night and not just during these random meetups...grew so strong that he couldn't ignore it any longer. 

Earlier that evening, as he'd packed his datapads and other personal belongings into his subspace before leaving the sunken starship he called home for the last time, his servos wouldn't stop shaking. He was starting a new chapter in his life and it was both wonderful and _terrifying_. 

Starscream sat up and faced Optimus. "I-I need to tell you something." 

His voice was quiet. A little too shaky. Not at all like him, much to his disappointment. It looked like his Big Moment still wasn’t going to happen the way he wanted. 

Optimus met his gaze, his optics full of kindness. “Of course. I'm listening." 

"I left the Decepticons." Better to get it out all at once. 

Optimus nearly dropped his datapad. "You...you what?!" His voice nearly rose to a shout.

Starscream flinched and shrank away, suddenly worried that he'd done something wrong. _Oh no._ What if Optimus had changed his mind after asking so many times and being turned down? Maybe he didn't want him with the Autobots after all and preferred these meet-ups instead nowadays. The thought made his spark ache.

"No, no." Optimus quickly grabbed one of Starscream’s servos, squeezing gently. He kept his voice softer, more level. "I'm sorry, Star, I was just surprised is all. This is the best news I've heard in ages." He retracted his faceplate, revealing a wide smile. 

Relaxing a little, Starscream smiled back. "It's been a long time coming." 

"It sure has," Optimus said, looking dazed. "Not a day went by where I didn't wish you were with me. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.”

Starscream’s smile faltered. Trepidation slowly crept into his joy, negative words cycling through his processor at the worst possible time. _You don't do anything without an ulterior motive. You're Starscream, after all. Everyone is a pawn in your schemes. Why is Optimus any different?_

"Are you alright?" 

Starscream was pulled from his upsetting thoughts by Optimus's deep, soothing voice. "Yes," he said, waving a servo and trying to hide his insecurity. "I'm just worried how they'll react to _you._ Their leader in relationship with the second-in-command of the enemy faction and all of that. How scandalous!" 

Optimus studied him carefully. "If this is too much right now, please take more time," he said. "You shouldn't jump into something if you aren't ready. I can formally fill them in before you join us and-"

"No!" Starscream said hastily. "I'm-I'm ready. I refuse to put this off any longer. We can't live like this anymore. Sneaking around. Keeping secrets. It's exhausting!" 

He tried to sound confident, but his resolve was waning by the minute as he imagined that first meeting with the Autobots. Even though it was something he'd considered ever since he first started seeing Optimus, the fact that it was actually going to happen was about to send him into a panic. But, he still wanted this. Didn't he? 

Optimus turned his gaze toward the sun as its final rays disappeared behind the mountains.

"Perhaps we should head to the Ark now." Optimus stood up and offered a servo to Starscream. "Come on, let's get this out of the way, then we can get you settled. I know Skyfire is going to be excited to see you." 

***

Starscream considered transforming into his jet mode and giving Optimus a lift, but it was more peaceful to walk through the forest under the silver light of the moon and starry skies. He took a panoramic shot of the heavens and filed it away so he could always remember this night. The night when his greatest dream was finally realized. A night when he wouldn't have to part with Optimus ever again. 

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're starting to enjoy this...what did you call it? 'Disgusting mudball?'" Optimus said.

"Hmm," Starscream said, amused. "Maybe a _little._ I'm still going to be cleaning muck out of my thrusters for hours."

Optimus laughed. "Don't worry, we have good washracks in the Ark." 

“Truth is, I hoped I’d never see this cursed planet again,” Starscream said, moving closer to Optimus. “But you make it bearable.” 

***

As they drew nearer to their destination, Starscream was greeted with the pungent scent of smoke in the air and the sound of boisterous laughter. He and Optimus stood on top of a wooded hill, peering down at the half-buried Ark in the side of the mountain and a small group of Autobots sitting around a bonfire and drinking energon cubes (Starscream recognized Jazz, Blaster, Bumblebee, Ironhide, and the twins). 

With his spark suddenly pounding uncomfortably and tank churning, Starscream retreated a few steps into the forest, grateful for the darkness that obscured him from the Autobots below if they happened to look in his direction. 

Optimus turned to him, concern written all over his face. “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” he said softly. “Once you get to know everyone, you’ll—“

“Me? Afraid of a few Autobots?” Starscream hated how pathetic he felt. “I just—I need a moment. You go on ahead.”

“Are you sure, sweetspark?” 

“Yes. I’ll join you soon.” 

Optimus cupped his cheek and kissed him gently on the forehelm before heading down to the gathering, pushing through the foliage. Starscream watched as the group enthusiastically greeted their leader, patting him on the back, giving him hugs...there was a pain deep in his spark that he couldn’t quite describe as the scene unfolded. 

_They’ll know what you are. They’ll think you want to kill Optimus and take over in some big plan to get to Megatron. Because that’s what you're known for, isn’t it?_

Starscream leaned against a tree for support, blinking away the washer fluid that had pooled in his optics. 

_Backstabber._

_Schemer._

“I’m sorry,” Starscream whispered into the dark, focusing on Optimus, who stood by the fire with an arm around Ironhide. 

With that, he transformed and flew away. 


End file.
